18 Jan 2014

Sathanas Urine - Everything You Need To Know About Witchcraft [Demo] (2013, Dipsomaniac Records)

From the very beginning of black metal the quest for the ultimate rush of aggression, pugnacity and offense has always been a driving force within the scene. From the scenic Veneto region in northeastern Italy comes Sathanas Urine, a group supposedly consisting of 5 members, true to that offensive nature of black metal, taking the style to the outmost reaches of "music" with their anarchic, cacophonous approach to the genre on their latest demo release, "Everything You Need To Know About Witchcraft".

The Italian band greets you with a friendly punch in the dick. Droning noise, riffs distorted beyond recognition and vocals screamed from beyond the grave assail your ears at every twist and turn as you mentally fight your way through the demo. By now they've established that the harsh discord of Sathanas Urine is their main attribute and characteristic, and the pursuit of music as jarringly horrid as possible seems to take precedence over the actual enjoyment of the music.

Black metal can absolutely be offensive and abrassively hideous and still be enjoyable. Void Meditation Cult and Culte des Ghoules have it down to an art form to make it as repetitive and groaning as humanly possible, but they do it with taste. The riffing and composure of their material is sufficiently original and innovative to support that form, but to hold Sathanas Urine to the standards of the afforementioned bands seems just embarrassing. Ever listened to obscure live rehearsal 90's bootleg recordings of Gorgoroth? This is kind of like that, only infinitely worse. 

On some tracks, Dead Men Bones Devourer in particular, their ideas shine through the irksome cacophony of their droning sound, and once in a while there's a thing or two that under other circumstances would be okay, but Everything You Need To Know About Witchcraft doesn't meet any of the criteria for listenable music. It's loathsome and repetitive to the extreme. I would consider the ability to find this to be good music a superpower.

Judging from the cover art I can't imagine that Sathanas Urine can possibly be serious, but then again they might be, and that almost frightens me. According to the band's profile on Metal Archives Sathanas Urine consists of 5 members, which I find very hard to believe. For one person to find pleasure in sucking this much is one thing, but for 5 people to get together and circle jerk around this abomination? Count me out. 1/10 guitars.

1. Starkblast
2. The Goblin Spell
3. The Frozen Wizard
4. Dead Men Bones Devourer
5. A New Horizon
6. An Ode to the Side of Darkness

Should you choose to torment yourself, listening for yourself would be a great place to start. The demo can be downloaded for free HERE

1 comment:

  1. ...not so bad...the "frozen wizard" and "dead men bones" kicks asses!!! Great vocals,but the sounds are shitty.