15 Apr 2013

Lamia Hyde and the Southern Witches - Conjuring Lamia [Demo] (2012, Self-released)

To briefly introduce the band Lamia Hyde and the Southern Witches is a band that according to their own biography play dark hypnotic music with a touch of inspiration from black metal bands and mythology aswel as horror movies. At the time of writing the band has 17 likes on Facebook. Though Facebook is by no means an indicator of quality it was already here that I began having doubts if my time would be well spent listening to it. The pretentious picture of a masked man aswel as the mind-blowingly horrible "art" that resemble the demented drawings of a mentally challenged 3rd grader didn't help much in staving off this assumption.I can only guess that Lamia Hyde and the Southern Witches, in spite of the very misleading band name, consists of a single person. While I have yet to actually describe the music on the Conjuring Lamia demo, let me tell you that I too would conceal my identity if I were the author of such horrid "music".

The demo consists of 4 relatively short songs ranging from just over 2 minutes to a little over 3 minutes in length. At 11 minutes of playtime total it seems excessive to actually call this a "demo" rather than just a small compilation of random material. And boy does it sound random. Most of the time the songs are comprised of parts that sound like they were composed for vastly different purposes and put together with complete abandon, and the lack of good flow seems to be a recurring theme with Lamia Hyde and the Southern Witches. For the most part the demo is poorly executed and sometimes an instrument will completely fall out and then come back a note or two later, leading to a generally untight disposition.

I don't think I have ever heard a demo that sounds so inadequate or incomplete. Conjuring Lamia has next to no artistic merrit or musical value. What disturbs me the most is that someone made this. This didn't just turn up on its own, someone deliberately created this monstrosity. Someone somewhere on this god forsaken planet is proud of having made this. Every single element feels out of place, and the elements that sound ouf of place don't fit together either. Every attempt to find a redeeming quality was met with disappointment. One might even think the band was created as a joke, but most joke bands I've heard are way better. The only small thing I found that has any hint of quality behind it is that rather than relying on programmed instruments and sounds the Australian band has seemingly recorded every instrument by hand, and this does grant the demo a small pinch of authenticity, but unfortunately not nearly enough to outweigh the inadequacies of the rest of its parts combined. 2/10 guitars.

1. Serpentine Glamour
2. Conjuring Lamia
3. Three AM
4. Throttled by an Angel

If you by chance want to check out the entire thing, the EP is available for download here

Don't believe me? Think I'm being harsh? Check out this video and tell me I'm wrong.